motherhood

Occasionally I am given the opportunity to think, I am sure you are wondering what universe altering philosophical life questions am I thinking of...its mostly things like why is it that I didn't invent silly bands or I wonder why my four year old refuses to eat today. So I admit I mostly think of myself in my little word with my extraordinary children,, they consume me and my heart is so full it could burst. I worry constantly about things that I use to make fun of. I recall a triage conversation with a mother, her 3 year old was not coloring in the lines and she was completely terrified that he had some type of learning disability. This to me was absolutely insane, hello your child is 3 what exactly did she expect? or whatever happened to allowing a child to be creative, I mean maybe he is an artist. I remember hanging up the phone, holding my head in my hands and praying that her complete lack of common sense didn't crawl through the phone and effect my ability to have a logical thought. In recent months I have become aware that this has nothing to do with logic or intelligence. All logic is lost when it comes to our children. I am the mother hen hovering over my babies protecting them and ready to attack anyone who intrudes or disrupts my young. My children are allowing me to exercise my skills in maternal instincts... I will just put it out there for the entire Internet world to see, Jude my precious bundle of chubby baby joy rolled off the bed. I heard the thud of his sweet little body fall an entire less than 2 feet onto carpet (that's what a triage nurse will ask you by the way), that instantly sent a rush of burning hot adrenaline through my body, which lead to me the mother bird scooping him up back into the nest of my arms. Did I think like a nurse at that moment? NO this was MY baby not some faceless mom on the phone. For a split second I was ready to dial 911...Was this an emergency? not really but for the moments following the fall as I held and rocked my crying little angel I was reminded that being a mother means your life now belongs to your little person... no amount of experience, professional training, book smarts or even logic can interfere with what God placed in a mothers heart. When your children need their mother she is present. In infancy and if we are lucky throughout our lives. I know of one mother in particular who has given her heart time and time again. Although her children are now adults she recognizes when she is needed and she comforts, protects and heals. She shares in her children's happiness and sorrow. It is my hearts desire to be a mother, just as mine is, a perfect picture of true love.